(Cover) – EN Showbiz – Jessica Biel grappled with feeling like a failure after undergoing a C-section after she planned to give birth naturally.

The actress underwent emergency surgery when she and husband Justin Timberlake welcomed son Silas in 2015 and admits it took her time to accept the baby wasn’t born the way she wanted.

The experience taught her to be more accepting of challenges that arise when parenting.

“That was a very transformative experience, because I had such a plan,” she tells Entertainment Tonight “I thought, this was going to happen and this is the way it shall be, and everything happened the opposite way and it was a great lesson in knowing in the future, ‘OK, you know things in life you plan and you have to be flexible,’ especially being a parent and having to go, ‘OK, we’re changing the plan, we’re not going there, we’re having a meltdown,’ or ‘We’re having a good day, let’s go get in the car or jump in a plane,’ like, you have to be flexible, and I had a very hard mindset of what I wanted to happen.”

The star hopes she can one day experience her initial birth plan.

“I’m just in awe of women who have a natural birth and if I have the opportunity to try it again or do it again, it will be amazing,” she adds. “And, if not, I don’t have that feeling anymore. I don’t have that intense drive that it will make me more of a woman or more of a mother, or I failed because I felt as if I failed him (son), because my body didn’t work the way it was supposed to work.”

The 36-year-old is now using what she went through to help reassure other mothers.

“I think its important to talk about these things because there is so much shame and guilt wrapped around motherhood and birth and what it means and how it happens and how you do it and what your choices are,” she adds. “It’s important to just say, ‘Well, this is what happened, and you know what? I’m here and he’s here and that’s what we needed to make happen’.”

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